Monday, January 10, 2011

Media Madness #1: Go to Hell Apps!

Go to Hell Apps!
Game App Pet Peeves
“Hi, my name is Ray and I’m an App addict.”
“Hi Ray”!
“It’s been 34 seconds since I last bought an’s been 2 seconds since I last bought an app.”

I love my iPhone apps. It’s true. They make my life easier, funner and generally bearable; especially while riding the cattle car that is the BART. However I do have a few app pet peeves that are driving me insane and instead of screaming silently in my brain (or out loud at the top of my lungs in BART) I thought I’d rant at you nice people.

1) My music is better than your music.
This is a big one and when I think of the number of apps I’ve bought that I don’t play because the damn app doesn’t let me listen to my music or podcasts it makes my wallet weep dollar like crocodile tears. It drives me crazy that these apps want me to listen to the same 5 sounds over and over again rather than let me listen to the gigs of music and podcasts I’ve painstakingly purchased and downloaded.
Listen up App developers! Let me listen to my own soundtrack and I will play your game, get exposed to your advertising and consider other games you make far more often than if you make me listen to the same stock sound beeps I’ve heard a million times before!

2) Slap it up, flip it, rub it down!
This is another ridiculously easy one that so few apps think of. The number of apps that you can’t rotate is alarming to me! So many apps’ default horizontal position makes it uncomfortable to use when you have headphones plugged in it’s ridiculous. A simple fix for this is to allow the user to flip the screen and play in the orientation that is most comfortable to them instead of the orientation the developer demands. And what about left handed people? How about offering flipped controls for my mutant freak left handed friends out there!

3) Developer Ego Boom
One of the cheapest tricks is the delaying of a game’s start, ostensibly for it to load, and using that time to display the company logo for a few seconds longer than necessary. If you’re company name or logo is so long and/or confusing that you feel I need a full 10 seconds to absorb it then something has gone horribly awry with your marketing people. Making me stare at your logo for an extra 5 seconds is only going to infuriate me so just load the damn game and let me get on with my life.

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