Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Pax Coverage: Carb Loading Edition

Makin' Bacon!
That's right people, it's carb loading time! Sure you can get coverage of PAX gaming goodness from the acerbic wit of Adam Sessler or the hotness that is Morgan Webb BUT will they give you a run down of great food in the Seattle area and what to avoid while at PAX 2011?! Nope, didn't think so.

The best place to start? At the beginning of course. Fresh off the plane I was famished so my local guide/geek goddess Robin suggested we go to Dick's for burgers. Some of you may know Dick's from the Sir Mix-a-Lot song Posse on Broadway.  If you are not familiar with the song or Mix than immediately punch yourself in the face for your impudence. Yes, these are one and the same and being a huge Mix fan I had to go and experience Dick's first hand. With much anticipation I tore open the bag and this confronted me:

JANE! Get me off this crazy thing!
A tiny little burger festooned with an unholy union of relish/lettuce, tasteless fries and a pre-made omni shake! Oh Sir Mix-a-Lot how I have been betrayed! Led Astray! Bamboozled! I can only assume Five Guys Burgers was not around back in the day. I get the feeling Dick's has gathered a mystique about itself due to it being the only burger available after midnight and a favorite place for burned out bands to show up. Sigh, it can only go up from here.

Saturday morning came too early and I needed coffee. While in line for a Large (not Grande or whatever, size: LARGE) Mocha I noticed 2 things. Sitting at the register and on little stands everywhere were these:
Oh yes, you will be regular at PAX!

I'm not sure who the coffee shop thought was coming but pushing these so hard was surely a miscalculation of the marketing department.

I checked out the back of these bad boys and it was nothing but nutrionless filler. Crap that's supposed to make you feel full but not actually give you anything but a little Vitamin C and a crap ton of fiber. Have you seen the restrooms at these cons! The last thing gamers need is more reasons to visit the crappers!

That's when I saw this off to the side and knew we'd be find and that this coffee shop did indeed understand the gamer clientele:

Carb Train Ahoy!
Don't get me wrong, it's important to eat healthy so you don't explode all over the exhibition floor in a shower of Krispy Kreme and Red Bull but damnit! For some of us this is vacation and we want to indulge in giant croissants and pastry.

These appear top be straight from the local CostCo which is fine by me. I'm glad they realized this an provided us appropriate rations. I was just thinking the only thing that could make a butter soaked croissant better was powder sugar!

The Tully's Coffee in the convention makes a good mocha and has a great selection of all natural juice too so it gets a thumbs up despite the silly Blisscuits staring at you. I'll continue to drop more food knowledge intermittently throughout the PAX coverage including where to find magic chicken and waffles. That's right, magical chicken and waffles.


  1. Don't forget Dick's awesome policy of charging extra for ketchup and mustard packets...

    Are you sure it's wise to disclose the location of the magical chicken and waffles?!

  2. If there is any hope of the magic Chicken and Waffles place opening up a branch in the Bay Area I must make them a staggering success through appealing to my many, many (now double digit!)Followers!

  3. Oh man that is the most foul burger I have ever seen!! Did you actually eat that???

  4. The burger was consumed as it was the only option at the time.