Friday, February 4, 2011

#TravelRants Twitter Trails #2

Fiery Passport o' Doom!

10-1 odds that the thug/intellectual wanna-be talking loud on his cel phone gets off at the Denny's. #TransitRants
2 Feb
This is one of those things that have popped up since I started riding the EmeryGoRound. There has been this plague of young black dudes hopping on the EGoRound and trying to talk in their cel phone like their PDiddy. I’m supposed to believe you’re negotiating a multi million dollar contract while riding the free shuttle from the Oakland Bart and walking to the Denny’s?  I swear 1 guy’s cel phone wasn’t even turned on while talking into his phone about ordering the $2000 rims for his ride. Do $2000 rims even exist? These  guys are talking about shit that could not possibly be going down from a free shuttle and doing it real loud to make sure everyone knows and trying desperately to make eye contact so they could let you know how important they are. Drives me nuts! You are who you are! Deal with it!

I want to help the biz girl cornered by the creepy old euro guy chatting her up. I wonder if he knows this isn't Versailles? #TransitRants
2 Feb
Oh poor little business lady blond. I wish beyond wish I could be an old European man. They don’t give a shit about what anyone thinks of them. In a near empty bus he sits his 5’ 6” balding, stinking paunchy self next to a gorgeous young blond professional and does his damnedest to get her interested. This girl came just short of stabbing him with her pen and yet he still persisted in trying to get her information and came just short of not letting her out of her seat until she relented. What the hell is going on in Europe that they breed delusional old men douchebags like this?

Hey asshole, Can I request you wear a smaller backpack so when you keep backing into me it hurts less. Thanx. #TransitRants
2 Feb
Let me paint a picture. Me, minding my own business, standing on the BART. Enter backpack Basher. A tall,middle age guy with a huge backpack walks in face to face with me, about 6 inches from my face, and promptly turns around smacking with his backpack. As we’re rolling down the line he keeps hitting me with his backpack until I finally snap  and on one of his lean forward moments I take a stand and plant my elbow where his ribs will back right into my elbow. He clangs against it and gives me a dirty look. I was here first asshole! Wearing your iPod and texting one handed does not give you a free pass to write off everything else in the world and treat the rest of us as unimportant props.

EGoRound 20 min late. He parks in the boondocks so we miss the Bart due to the long walk. Perfect start to the day >:( #TransitRants
2 Feb
I’ve grown to recognize the EGoRound drivers and there is one that I’m convinced hates passengers. This is my favorite trick of his. He’ll stop at the the second to last stop before picking us up; he lollygags there for a bit doing nothing fully aware that we can see him sitting there staring at us. And then when he deigns to pick us up he drops us off a hundred miles from the BART! Some drivers will drop us off closer than usual but this guy goes out of his way to make sure we miss our train! I wish we knew which driver was going to be working each so I know when to either wake up earlier or bring a sock full of nickels for this guy’s head.

Thanks for dropping your heavy bag on my foot. I didn't need lefty. It will add to my pimp stroll. Where my pimp cane at?! #TransitRants
1 Feb
My pimp stroll isn’t quite as legendary as Dolemite but it got a big step forward thanks to this asshole. he walks in with a cloth bag full of tools and drops it right on my foot and doesn’t even acknowledge it! What kind of asshole does with sort of asshattery?! No apology, no awareness no nothing! I should have stolen a wrench or something.

EGoRound driver was whistling at a girl while at a stop sign. Focus driver-oh snap! She was pretty! Whistle on brother! #TransitRants
1 Feb
She was pretty damn hot but also about 30 yrs younger than the driver. I hope when I get old and grey I’ll still have the guts to whistle and holla at a pretty girl. As obnoxious as it is there is a part of it that’s endearing. Of course, I’m not a pretty chick so I don’t have to deal with the other side of it. Sound off pretty girls, is it endearing when an old man whistles at you or just creepy and weird?

2nd and Howard is an accident laden cluster. Stay away! #TransitRants
1 Feb
This looked like one of those fuck you accidents at the corner of 2nd and Howard. Someone left their ass hanging out too long to make a turn on red and got smashed into by a motorcycle that wasn’t paying attention. Focus people! Focus!

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