National Broadcast Mercs Must Die!

Let it be known that I love baseball more than I love you; unless you’re my daughter and then it depends on the day and our playoff status. I’m currently on cloud 9 (Matt William’s uni #) that my SF Giants are in the pennant hunt and currently tied with the Philadelphia Loud Mouth Fans with No Class or Common Decency...or whatever their team name is.

All season I’ve had the privilege of listening to the best broadcast team on radio or TV bar none. I’ve been all over this US and watched/listened to games from coast to coast and we have the most knowledgeable crew from top to bottom. They are so good I’ve become more spoiled than the college girls Barry Zito romances between starts (allegedly).

Which brings me to the crux of my rage. National Broadcasters suck. The End. The obvious favoritism toward the Phils on the last two broadcasts has rocketed well past shameful straight into a bean dip bowl of ridiculousness. In the first place these guys seem so convinced the Giants are just going to roll over for the Phils that it seems they didn’t even bother to learn the most basic stories of interest for the Giants.

The Phils are batting and they talk about the Phillies batters despite Lincecum dealing like a mad man and when the Giants come to bat what do they talk about? The Phillies pitcher! As if the 30 minute segment on Halladays complete game shut out wasn’t enough now we have to hear about it constantly when the Giants are up to bat?!

Cody Ross hits two home runs and they don’t murmur a syllable about how his acquisition was a strategic move to block him from the Padres; they don’t mention his previous heroics or the fact that he recently had a kid even. Nope, Cody Ross gets the first hit off Halladay in the playoffs for the lead in the first game of the series and all they can talk about is how great Halladay is and how he seldom makes a mistake to location and how delicious his dick is when they blow him before the game.

The lack of respect for west coast sports is utterly ridiculous and has to stop. Hey Tim McCarver, I know you’re older than Joltin’ Joe’s jock strap but would it kill you to learn what Google is and maybe learn something about a Giant beyond what’s in the media guide?! We all know Bochy used to manage the Padres! You have unfettered access to these athletes before the games start, how about putting down the blow dryer and asking them some interesting questions so we can get some insight?!
 

Joe Buck's 'O' Face

Don’t even get me started on that pompous prick Joe “My dad was GREAT at this” Buck. Is there anyone on television more delusional about his hairline and actual talent this side of Donald Trump?!  It’s pronounced Ooo-ree-bay; not Yer-E-bay you boring, talentless hack! I wouldn’t use Joe Buck for firewood much less entertainment or information.

I’ve given up on national broadcaster mercenaries and I can’t even synch up on the radio either because of the damn TV time outs and all the other advertising bull shit. I think I’m going to watch the rest of the games with the Flash Gordon soundtrack playing and double my beer intake. It’s the only way I can cope with the stress of Giant’s playoff baseball. Go Giants!